IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe it is better to complete graduation to get a job while others believe having experience and skills is important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #graduation #job #skills
In today's competitive world it is essential to have
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
. In order to get employment, one must
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
have
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
 academic
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
, whereas others refute
this
 idea, stating that only practical
knowledge
 is more important.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss that graduation provides
knowledge
 whereas
experience
 provides skills.
Higher level
Add a hyphen
Higher-level
show examples
 education provides extensive
knowledge
 in various
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
subject
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
 to students.
The academic
Correct article usage
Academic
show examples
knowledge
 enables
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 mind to acquire specialized skill sets to perform
jobs
.
This
 is
illustarted
Correct your spelling
illustrated
 that people who have their majors in accounts are better in
finanaces
Correct your spelling
finances
finance
 compared to those who do not have
background
Add an article
a background
show examples
 in accounts.If students do not go for graduation they lack command
in
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 field irrespective of their
knowledge
 in the sector. Studying helps to improve their learning and provide
edge
Add an article
an edge
the edge
show examples
 for getting better
jobs
 opportunity over others who do not have
academic
Add an article
an academic
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. It is evident that in
jobs
 people need to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
 rather than theoretically.
On
Add a hyphen
On-field
show examples
field
Add a comma
,field
show examples
experience
 promotes
practical
Add an article
the practical
show examples
 application of task which needs to be performed.In recent
studies
Add a comma
,studies
show examples
 it has been seen that roadside car mechanics have more competency than automobile
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 to check and repairs old cars. The practical
tranining
Correct your spelling
training
 helped them to learn more. If
task
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
 is not applied
then
 it does not have
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 impact on
jobs
.
Therefore
,
experience
 and skill training has
outmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
show examples
 importance for getting
jobs
. In conclusion, the academic qualification is very important to sharpen the brain with hand on
tarining
Correct your spelling
training
 and
experience
. It can be said that an amalgamation of practical
knowledge
 and degree have added advantage to get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
.
Submitted by nehasinha3121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: