IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #years
The importance of
employments
Correct your spelling
employment
show examples
 and replacing it
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people believe that it is beneficial while others reject
this
 notion. The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
show examples
 proposition is undoubtedly rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 positive and negative effects of
this
 trend including my opinion and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 and foremost reason behind
this
 is that some individuals love to
work
 and enjoy other company facilities and want to experience the working strategies of other organisations as they
fed
Add a missing verb
are fed
show examples
 up and not fully satisfied with
current
Correct pronoun usage
their current
show examples
 job because he or she is missing content
work
 rights and some requirements according to them. Another striking benefit in
this
 regard is that he or she will get a peaceful environment of
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 job
as well as they
Add the comma(s)
, as well as they,
show examples
 get new team management to
work
 and
also
 learn new skills or experience new
work
 that may help them to
further
 success in their life. Categorically stating, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
 is that
increament
Correct your spelling
increment
 in salary compare to
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
 job. Probing ahead, critics state that including me is one of the main underlying
stem
Change to a plural noun
stems
show examples
 from the fact is that the
swaping
Correct your spelling
swapping
 jobs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that he or she is not stable and serious with the
work
 they are in and not obeying company rules and trust.
Moreover
, interchanging jobs is a bad thing and he or she who practise
this
 is not tagged
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as most experienced and
patience
Replace the word
patient
show examples
 person
in particular
work
 they do as it leads to
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 a bad name in
employment
Add an article
the employment
show examples
 field. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly stated why many are against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 issue in
this
 trend. To
recapitualte
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, according to the arguments aforementioned above , One may reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion that the advantages of switching jobs
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 benefits which are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by summul149 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: