Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned.

#blood #sports #topic #debate #years #society #activity #animals

We live in a modern world where

people

respect every life.As society develops it does not matter whether it is human or animal,

people

try to save any lives.

Nevertheless

,there are

blood

sports

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are still legal.

People

believe that all these types of

sports

should be banned.

This

essay will portray the opinion of both sides and my personal opinion in the conclusion. .

To begin

with,

blood

sports

are a large part of our culture

from

Change preposition

since

show examples

the ancient years as the source of adrenalin for spectators mainly .

Animals

fightings were the best activity at every festival and

also

the most gainful.

Usually

Add a comma

,Usually

show examples

people

spend a significant amount of money for watching

blood

sports

and the income from the festivales government spend for cities needs.

For example

,in

14th

Correct article usage

the 14th

show examples

century there was a festival city with a large population.

People

can earn money only from the

blood

games

there

Remove the article

apply

show examples

result

unemployment

Change preposition

of unemployment

show examples

.If

blood

games

were manned in

this

city, all local families became poor and died from starving as there were no

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

fastiveles

Correct your spelling

festivals

and

consequently

Add an article

the

show examples

source of income.

Nevertheless

,now we live in a modern world with a lot of work and professions.

People

do not need to gain money from the

blood

games

as much as they used to in the past.We are a civilized society and try to protect every life from cruel murders.

Blood

games

one

Add a missing verb

are one

show examples

of the most popular

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

dying

animals

nowadays.If we do not ban it,in the

few years some animal species will be extinct.

For instance

blood

games

between rabbits are very popular in China and now it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

difficult to find

this

type of animal there.Now

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

has

deficit

Add an article

a deficit

show examples

of rabbits and

try

Add the particle

totry

show examples

solve

as a result

dustrupt

Correct your spelling

disrupt

distrust

of the circulation of

animals

. To sum up,

blood

sports

are

such

an inhumane activity, which causes pain and death to the

animals

exploited. In my view, the dreadful game should be extirpated.

Therefore

, it should be a combined effort of the government and the

people

to make sure that

such

sporting activity is effaced.

Submitted by anna.bobryshova on Wed Aug 18 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. All blood sports should be banned.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Children these days are using gadgets like smartphones and tablets from an early age for both entertainment and education. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Although there are a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this wil lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?