Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #goods #power #society

Todays

Change to a genitive case

Today's

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world is highly influenced by

where it has become the main source to sell out

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumer

goods

by ignoring the real needs of society. I completely agree with

this

statement and state my own view where

power

Add an article

the power

show examples

are attracting more public and gaining more profit to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their own needs.

Firstly

, the way competition is shaping in the market to sell their product is huge, and the sellers are using the power of

effective

Change the article

an effective

show examples

way. Through

policy they are attracting more public to buy the popular

consumer

goods

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

by giving the logo or branding the products it is becoming more easy access to sale the

consumer

goods

globally.

For instance

in Nepal wai

wai

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

noodles is becoming one of the top

consumer

goods

where everyone

try

Change the verb form

tries

show examples

to buy the product in

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

sum.

Secondly

, if

Add an article

the advertisement

show examples

of any

consumer

commodity is done by eminent or great politician leader of a country

then

there is

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

chance of selling and gaining more profit

although

the product does not carry the real needs of

society

Add an article

the society

show examples

it would be more reliable one for

people

because they might be sway from their inspirational

people

to use

such

goods

.To illustrate if

pepsi

Change the capitalization

Pepsi

show examples

is advertise

Change the verb form

is advertised

show examples

by famous

people

then

people

are more interested

Change the preposition

show examples

having

Correct pronoun usage

it on

show examples

a regular basis of their life. To conclude,

is the most powerful

tools

Fix the agreement mistake

tool

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that

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

merits as well as demerits but it should give

equally

Change the adverb

equal

show examples

value on high sales and the needs of society.

Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on Thu Aug 19 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?