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Band 4

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

#cultures #children #approach
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In
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At
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 present, there are many skilled people in
this
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 world. Many
children
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 are expected to be more talented and competitive with
others
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. As can be seen in Thai society,
children
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 are expected from their
parents
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 to be popular and in high-ranked
schools
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 since kindergarten, repeating in primary
schools
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, secondary
schools
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 and universities.
This
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 can foster their mindset to compete against each other.
Therefore
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, being competitive can greatly affect
children
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 in both positive and negative ways, which
this
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 essay tends to discuss on the two sides.
To begin
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, there are many challenging tasks that encourage
human
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humans
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 to be competitive.
For instance
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, the education system and prizes from adults award to top-performing
children
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 in classes, or
parents
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 give rewards from getting full marks on examinations. Continue to the career paths that companies choose to employ the most qualified applicants. Since
,
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apply
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 looked down
by
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on by
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 their
parents
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 with high expectations and different perspectives,
children
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 try to raise themselves up to beat adults' contempt. To simplify, reaching goals is to complete the tasks.
Children
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 are trained to be diligent and responsible.
Thus
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, the expected results will be satisfying, which is the advantage in competing that they will produce quality outcomes.
However
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, competitions tend to shape
children
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 some bad behaviours,
such
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 as unfriendly manners, selfishness, and cruelty to
others
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 as they have to be superior
than
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to
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others
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.
Moreover
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,
parents
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’ pressure and expectation affect the
children
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’s physical and mental health. To explain, forcing
children
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 to study extra classes or
read intensive
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read-intensive
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 academic books can cause them mental distress as well as bad ergonomic physical positions. Even though, skills and talents competing against
others
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 do not only shape
children
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 to be diligent and have good
disciplinary
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discipline
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 negatively affect
on
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apply
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children
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’s
mind
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minds
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 and
body
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bodies
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.
Therefore
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,
children
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 and
parents
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 have to balance positive and negative effects to be successful. As can be seen in Thai society, beginning from kindergarten that their parent expected them to be in popular and high-ranked primary
schools
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, again in secondary
schools
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 and universities. Even, looking down from adults for who have different paths from the expectation or the failure. So,
children
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 to
try
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totry
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 raise themselves up to beat the expectations and successes.
Submitted by suangpakanun on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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