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Band 7.5

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever-growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purposes #areas #population #business #economies
It is clear that the urban population is increasing at a noticeable speed, and the citizens’ requests might be pressure by social resources. Even though many
people
 value their public
parks
, others suggest that it is better to replace
parks
 with business or residential areas to meet their growing demand for land. I find
this
 point of view very dissatisfactory.
Firstly
, green places play a significant role in sustaining and improving
people
’s health. Before anything else, trees and plants in
parks
 can absorb carbon dioxide and other chemicals, as well as provide us oxygen which helps to improve that area’s air condition.
This
 improvement can be essential to
people
 who has breathing problems due to air pollution. Another reason to maintain public
parks
 is many
people
 can keep fit by doing exercises or doing public sports like badminton or football there. Daily exercises make a person healthier by improving their circulatory and immune system, building a stronger body plus protecting them from illness.
Secondly
, cities which have
parks
 and gardens look more appealing than those which don’t. If a city had only skyscrapers, industrial areas and housing estate, it would be pretty boring and dull;
therefore
, the greens and flowers can make the city brighter and more colourful,
thus
 bringing
people
 closer to nature.
Finally
, changing
parks
 into business and residential places is not an effective solution to the yearly expanding population.
Instead
, the government should build more satellite centres outside of crowding urban areas.
This
 would not only solve the high rate of jobless workers but
also
 decreased air pollution caused by traffic in cities. In conclusion, I believe that public
parks
 benefit both the citizens and the panoramic view of the city, and there are alternative solutions to deal with growing needs for land use,
such
 as building more suburb or suburban
Submitted by haioanhcongviec on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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