Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents

It is argued by some that youth crime should be restricted by the

laws

while

others believe that

this

is the

parent

Change noun form

parent's

show examples

responsibility.

Although

the former view can be true to some extent, in my opinion, the latter view is more reasonable. On the one hand, there are many reasons that lead people to believe that juvenile crime has to be punished on account of some reasons. One of them is that kids or teenagers need to be responsible for what they have done, especially breaking the

laws

Fix the agreement mistake

law

show examples

. To be more specific, if the punishment applies to young people, they will remember and won’t

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reoffended

Correct your spelling

reoffend

Additionally

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminals can use the kids to violate the

laws

without any restriction by the regulations.

For example

, criminals can use

children

to rob a bank, and the police will see the problem that the kid is breaking the

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

However

, they will pass

this

problem because they are just

children

On the other hand

, I hold a firm belief that in delinquency crimes

parents

should be punished

instead

because the

children

are not well educated.

In other words

, if the kids get involved in criminal activities, it is probably because the

parents

have not taught their

children

correctly and correctly.

Moreover

children

, in general, do not have enough awareness about what is right and wrong, and it will be unfair if the government punishes them.

Thus

, the

parents

will have to be responsible and be compensated for what their child did.

In particular

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

the

children

started breaking the

laws

, it was already the

parents

' job to teach them probably about good and bad things to do. The

laws

are especially the strictest rules in the country. In conclusion, youth crimes being punished can be justifiable in some aspects, yet I still strongly believe that

parents

should be taking

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility for their

children

since it is unfair for little

children

to be restricted by

laws

Submitted by tungpns1811 on Fri Aug 20 2021

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task achievement

Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly outline your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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