IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #service
The role of the government and its main duties have been arguing for a long time.
Although
 some believe that authorities are only responsible to construct the infrastructure of the countries
such
 as building roads, hospitals, schools, bridges, others claim that
states
 are responsible to invest in public
services
 like theatre, music, dancing, cinema, and sports activities as well. The main policy of the
states
 is to provide basic
services
 in order to create sustainability
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the community. These main
services
 are crucial for controlling and organising societies.
To begin
 with,
states
firstly
 construct the infrastructure of the cities like drainages of the wastes, building roads and bridges to transport commodities, and construct schools in order to increase the quality of the society.
Moreover
,
states
 ensure military
services
 for purpose of the security.
Further
, support arts to thrive moods and emotions of the society and to block public conflict. I consider, providing social
services
 as important as public
services
 because they influence
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
show examples
 of the populations and provide togetherness. To illustrate, the world has experienced numerous examples of destructions of fully and technologically built empires. In
this
 context, I strongly believe that arts co-operate and contribute to societies to build a strong future. In fact, the
states
 can bear the cost of the investments in social activities. İn conclusion, the countries cannot be a society with only providing
services
 because some denominators are needed to build a common soul. Obviously, social
services
 are able to construct strong societies. If
states
 desire sustainable populations, they should fund arts like painting, singing, and theatre.
Submitted by evren on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural diversity
  • economic growth
  • creative industries
  • public service
  • community cohesion
  • opportunity cost
  • essential services
  • government spending
  • private sector
  • patronage
  • subsidize
  • invest
  • allocate
  • infrastructure
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