Technology has more positive than negative effects on our relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #effects #relationships #people

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Nowadays,

technology

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has an essential impact on our daily life. Many

people

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believe that it has more advantages in

relationships

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than drawbacks. In my opinion, I totally agree and think that it is easy to develop

relationships

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with

others

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. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why we have a positive connection with

others

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technology

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People

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can communicate with their family or friends farther than in the past and

also

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anytime.

This

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is because modern communication systems that transfer effectively signals to each communicator

such

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as Line or Messenger.

For instance

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, some university students who live in apartments miss their mom and dad. They usually sent texts or video calls that can help to increase the

relationships

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between them. Another major reason is because of games which

technology

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is incredible. A lot of students prefer playing games since they can play on online platforms with their friends and it can

also

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enhance the unity with other players

On the other hand

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, there are negative aspects

why

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of why

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it cannot increase their

relationships

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Although

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It is convenient to contact

others

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, sometimes they are slow to respond. Most

people

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do not always turn on their

phone

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phones

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or computer. It is hard to continue the conversations.

For example

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, lots of women send emails or texts to their lovers but their boyfriends often reply slowly.

Then

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they always get angry and end their relationship.

Moreover

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, some conversations can fake

people

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since chatting cannot view other faces and they can cheat other

people

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. In conclusion, I strongly agree that

technology

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that helps easily communicate and play can increase connections with

others

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Submitted by Marker & Kaohom on Fri Aug 20 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
digital communication
instant messaging
social media platforms
virtual connections
long-distance relationships
cultural diversity
online interactions
cyberbullying
in-person interaction
emotional intimacy
cybersecurity
reliance on technology

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