Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some
individuals
argue that violence through
TV
and
computer
games
has a negative influence on
society
while
other
people
say that the impact of
television
and
games
is not remarkable. I think
television
and
computer
gaming don't have a negative influence on the behaviour of
people
. Nowadays,
television
and
computer
games
don’t have destroyed
people’s
behaviour. I believe that the bad action of a person in
society
has several reasons.
For example
, if some
individuals
do bad actions in
society
the reasons could be copying a friend’s action or experiencing violence at home.
Furthermore
, psychologically it can be genetically too.
For instance
, if the parents or grandparents of a person were aggressive
therefore
the son or grandson might be truculent. In my opinion,
TV
programs or gaming don’t have any effect on
people’s
behaviour.
Moreover
,
television
and gaming provide
individuals
with more curiosity and knowledge. Gaming helps
people
raise the speed of concentration.
For example
, if a person plays a game he or she tries to win the game and it needs more focus to not lose the game.
Additionally
,
this
concentration helps
individuals
in the time of reading.
Moreover
,
television
by providing different programs increases
people’s
awareness.
For instance
, football
games
led the population to know which team won the football match.
Consequently
,
TV
and gaming provide
people
with several advantages.
To conclude
, there is an argument that
television
and gaming have disadvantages in
society
while
some other says it is not highlightable. I believe
TV
media and
computer
games
don’t have to destroy
people’s
morale
instead
they provide
people
with positive advantages.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure you directly address the question prompt in your introduction to firmly establish your position.
Coherence Enhancement
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and transitional phrases to enhance coherence between ideas.
Supporting Examples
Offer concrete examples or data to support your main points; this will enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Task Response
You've maintained a clear position throughout the essay, effectively addressing the task.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion effectively recaps your opinion and the main reasons for it, providing a strong closure.
Logical Structure
The logical flow of ideas is maintained well, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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