Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.(huseyn mock)

Although
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some people believe that
leisure
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activities
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must be educational, I firmly believe that
leisure
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animation
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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children
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relax and reduce stress, which is important for their mental health and
overall
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development. Since
this
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issue affects society, it is important to take a clear instance.
This
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essay will explain why I support other
activities
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with relevant reasons and examples. Because playtime can develop creativity and social
skills
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, it is important to develop
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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skills
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for the
children
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.
Children
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learn valuable
skills
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through non-educational
activities
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like sports and arts,
such
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as teamwork and self-expression. Not only does
this
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lead to
develop
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developing
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skills
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, but it
also
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results in good mental ability. Team sports,
for instance
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, teach
children
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about collaboration, competition, and sportsmanship. Clearly,
this
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supports the idea that playtime will help in problem-solving. Rather than focussing only on educational
activities
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, it is more beneficial to non-educational
activities
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.
Besides
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this
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,
leisure
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activities
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offer crucial opportunities for social interaction and emotional growth.
For example
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, it develops creativity, and social interaction with people.
Children
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draw paintings and play outdoor games with their friends.
This
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proves that
leisure
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activities
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help with physical and social
skills
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. Either educational or non-educational
activities
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can be helpful, depending on the situation.
Whereas
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some believe in educational
activities
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, others see more value in sports, art, and games.
Although
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the opposing view has some merit, educational
leisure
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activities
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provide greater long-term benefits. In conclusion, Since, a balance between educational and fun
activities
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is essential for
children
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's growth, I strongly believe that they should enjoy their free time
while
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learning. Because
activities
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are important for
children
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, I recommend both
activities
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necessary for
children
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.
Therefore
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, it improves the thinking
skills
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of the
children
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.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer argument in your introduction. State your position clearly and specifically.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas more smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion'.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details to support your points; this will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and explained your points logically.
coherence and cohesion
You discussed both sides of the argument, which gives depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure
  • activities
  • educational
  • waste
  • time
  • important
  • development
  • relax
  • stress
  • creativity
  • skills
  • teamwork
  • fun
  • balance
  • growth
  • enjoy
  • free time
  • self-expression
  • children
  • mental health
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