Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. however other people believe that the life of old people is much better now that it was in past Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
era where
Rephrase
apply
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
and
everything is modernized .A section of Correct word choice
apply
the
society believes in Correct article usage
apply
this
techno-savvy world turning old is not so goodCorrect word choice
apply
While
, others
are of the outlook that in today’s Correct word choice
whereas others
life
older public’s growth is far better as compared to past
.
The first and foremost reason is that in Correct article usage
the past
this
technological world getting old means old
public cannot be able to learn many new methods Add an article
the old
.
Correct your spelling
such
such
as IT
field and many other required updated knowledge at the age of 60 or above .Another noteworthy reason is that turning 60 Correct article usage
the IT
or
means that Correct word choice
apply
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
are
at the Change the verb form
is
life
of their
retirement Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, after that ,age the medical expenses are
Verb problem
apply
also
increased
and Wrong verb form
increase
their
body is Change the word
the
also
not able to do hard work, so there are some drawbacks of turning old .To illustrate , in The survey conducted on USA senior citizens, it was observed that after turning 60 plus their mental and physical fitness level decreases.
On the other hand
, there are those who seem to be convinced with
the fact that in today’s Change preposition
by
era
older folk’s activity is much better than what it was in yesteryears. The primary reason for Add a comma
era,
this
belief is the advancement in medical healthcare facilities which are widely available now were not available in the bygone era Therefore
, life
expectancy has increased because of the improved science and technology. For instance
, the WHO released the
data about every nation’s older community ,population and senior citizens stating that now they live beyond the past mortality Correct article usage
apply
life
. Furthermore
, if old
population lived more that means they have more age to visit tourist places and they can spend more Correct article usage
the old
year
with their loved ones. Fix the agreement mistake
years
Moreover
, enjoy their soul to the fullest. Also
, the government is providing so many benefits after turning to retirement life
.
To conclude
, in line with the views presented above it is evident that both these differing views hold on to their respective positions and sense of relevance. I, however
, am of the opinion that old folk now seem to be enjoying their after-retirement period with their friends and family and also
, they get more life
to explore the world.Submitted by poojagondaliya121298 on
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Task Response
Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. In addition, make sure to provide a balanced argument by considering both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?