Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. however other people believe that the life of old people is much better now that it was in past Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #life

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

era

where

Rephrase

apply

show examples

each

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

everything is modernized .A section of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society believes in

this

Linking Words

techno-savvy world turning old is not so good

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

While

Linking Words

others

Correct word choice

whereas others

show examples

are of the outlook that in today’s

life

Use synonyms

older public’s growth is far better as compared to

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

. The first and foremost reason is that in

this

Linking Words

technological world getting old means

old

Add an article

the old

show examples

public cannot be able to learn many new methods

Correct your spelling

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the IT

show examples

field and many other required updated knowledge at the age of 60 or above .Another noteworthy reason is that turning 60

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

means that

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

at the

life

Use synonyms

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

retirement

Therefore

Linking Words

, after that ,age the medical expenses

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

and

their

Change the word

the

show examples

body is

also

Linking Words

not able to do hard work, so there are some drawbacks of turning old .To illustrate , in The survey conducted on USA senior citizens, it was observed that after turning 60 plus their mental and physical fitness level decreases.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are those who seem to be convinced

with

Change preposition

show examples

the fact that in today’s

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

older folk’s activity is much better than what it was in yesteryears. The primary reason for

this

Linking Words

belief is the advancement in medical healthcare facilities which are widely available now were not available in the bygone era

Therefore

Linking Words

life

Use synonyms

expectancy has increased because of the improved science and technology.

For instance

Linking Words

, the WHO released

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data about every nation’s older community ,population and senior citizens stating that now they live beyond the past mortality

life

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

population lived more that means they have more age to visit tourist places and they can spend more

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

with their loved ones.

Moreover

Linking Words

, enjoy their soul to the fullest.

Also

Linking Words

, the government is providing so many benefits after turning to retirement

life

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, in line with the views presented above it is evident that both these differing views hold on to their respective positions and sense of relevance. I,

however

Linking Words

, am of the opinion that old folk now seem to be enjoying their after-retirement period with their friends and family and

also

Linking Words

, they get more

life

Use synonyms

to explore the world.

Submitted by poojagondaliya121298 on Sat Aug 21 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. In addition, make sure to provide a balanced argument by considering both perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

358 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

elderly
modern world
decline
physical
mental health
diseases
disabilities
social isolation
loneliness
access
healthcare
medications
lifelong learning
personal growth
social support
community engagement
positive aspects
negative aspects

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?
The popularity of international travel is growing with the decrease in travel expenses in many parts of the world. There are advantages to this rise, like cultural exchange, and infrastructure developments. There are also drawbacks like pollution and overcrowding by tourists.
6
band
In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?
In many nations, the majority of residents do not have enough money to use the Internet. Should the government make sure that the whole population has access to the network?
6
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?
These days, the works are available for different ages, and some jobs are for children . So, some people think that is a wrong idea, while others think to learn and get experience, children should participate in some types of paid work. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
5
band
The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)
The present teaching methods and the student's learning will change in the next three decades. This essay totally agrees with this statement because the students requirements increase according to the continue development of the technology year by year and the new studies of teaching methods that match the new generations.
7.5
band
Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that children’s actions must be strictly controlled. However, others argue that allowing children to behave as they desire is more beneficial. I firmly agree with the statement that supports letting children act freely without strict enforcement.

Some people think that in this modern world, getting old is entirely bad. however other people believe that the life of old people is much better now that it was in past Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.