IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Education
 has always been very important in
society
, learning
rules
 and norms is a passage where everyone goes through.
However
,
people
 think that it is up to
parents
 to teach
children
 how to be good members of
society
, whereas others believe that it is up to
school
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to do that. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss both opinions .
Children
 need to be able to evolve in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
 and to be a part of that.
Then
 they need a
first
education
 which may be given by
parents
. Some
people
 think that rudiments of
education
,
such
 as
politenesss
Correct your spelling
politeness
, kindness or respect must
be learn
Change the verb form
be learned
show examples
 in the familial circle because, when
parents
 have
children
, they must help them to grow up. They must give
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education
 and it involves teaching
how
Correct pronoun usage
them how
show examples
 to be
a good adults
Correct the article-noun agreement
good adults
a good adult
show examples
. It is easier to find our own way when we have the basic
rules
 of
society
 and when we do respect them. It may
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
surpising
Correct your spelling
surprising
, but even if you are just teaching to say "thank you", "please", "good morning"
that is
 one of the most important
rules
 which can be used everywhere. Almost everyone can be welcomed with smiles with politeness and respect.
Moreover
,
children
 past most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 and they learn by mimetics, doing the same things, and so
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
.
Then
 it's at the
first
 age that any child must learn
education
 in order to reproduce these
rules
 without thinking about
this
 .
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that it is up to
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 to do
this
. At
school
, we need to learn, and by consciously or unconsciously
children
 learn how to live in a little
society
 because
school
 is like that.
Then
,
people
 think that it is to the teacher to explain the
rules
 of
society
 or laws because sometimes, some
parents
 do not know them. It may
also
 happen that
parents
 do not have enough time to explain
this
 to
children
. Others support that we all have personally different educations, but it is more valuable to have the same socle of
rules
 thanks to
school
. Indeed, if we are learning how to be a good citizen at
school
, lessons will be the same for everyone,
then
 each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 will live with almost the same
Correct your spelling
moral
show examples
morale
Correct your spelling
moral
show examples
 values. I think that most of the
education
 must be taught by
parents
 but schools need to complete
this
 because sometimes
parents
 do not know everything.
School
 is a complement to explain and teach us all the requirements
children
 will need to be good members of
society
.
Thus
, for me, teaching
children
 is a part-time job between
parents
 and
school
.
Submitted by eve.gilquin06 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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