Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child

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In the midst of

this

Linking Words

technology-driven global world, the way of

parents

Use synonyms

, take care of their

kids

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

changed .Most of the

parents

Use synonyms

gifted their

Use synonyms

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

lots

Use synonyms

toys

Use synonyms

for playing

Change preposition

with.

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay , I will be telling the drawbacks and positives of the foremost topic.

Firstly

Linking Words

, over the past few

decades

Add a comma

,decades

show examples

human thoughts and mentality changed towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life and relationships.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even though

Newgeneration

Correct your spelling

New-generation

guardians love their

kids

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

,they don'

Use synonyms

know how to express it in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right way. On the one hand , they think that, if they presented

lots

Use synonyms

toys

Use synonyms

to play

for

Change preposition

with for

show examples

their

kids

Use synonyms

, they will be happy, but it is not true actually. Ostensibly , they will be happy for

Linking Words

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

few days

then

Linking Words

they will get bore with that

purticular

Correct your spelling

particular

toy and they just throw it out,

this

Linking Words

is the

first

Linking Words

disadvantage of the same.

Secondly

Linking Words

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation won'

Use synonyms

understand the value of money,

for instance

Linking Words

,whenever they ask for something

parents

Use synonyms

are ready to give it,

therefore

Linking Words

they are not getting a chance to realise how hard it is to make money.

Thirdly

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

are not able to keep their things safely , as they have

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

more than they need, they don'

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care about it.

Lastly

Linking Words

but not least , most of the

toys

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are indoor based,

hence

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they are not interacting with others who are

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

same age, so their social interaction and sharing behaviour will be less.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Newgeneration

Correct your spelling

New generation

New-generation

kids

Use synonyms

are happy to have

lots

Use synonyms

toys

Use synonyms

, they will be satisfied by

this

Linking Words

. By getting more gifts from their

parents

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or relatives they think that they loved them

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

. The main advantage of

this

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

remain

Add a hyphen

in-home

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

home

Add an article

a home

the home

show examples

, so you can keep an eye on them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since we are living in a dangerous era,as our

kids

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are getting kidnapped and

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of child abuse increases day by day.

Linking Words

, if

kids

Use synonyms

going out,

parents

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won'

Use synonyms

be knowing with

whome

Correct your spelling

whom

they make friendship .Admittedly, from childhood children are getting addicted to drugs and all so at

this

Linking Words

senario

Correct your spelling

scenario

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

better to have our

kids

Use synonyms

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

. To make our children sit in

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

, it is

necessory

Correct your spelling

necessary

to gift them

lots

Use synonyms

of different types of

toys

Use synonyms

. To put it in a nutshell , I pen down saying that, encouraging

kids

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by presenting various types of

toys

Use synonyms

make them happy at the same time

parents

Use synonyms

try to develop sharing habit, social interaction and their academic skills.

Submitted by chinnucw on Sat Aug 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

408 words

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The most important consideration while selecting a job or career has a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interest and whether they are marries od single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.