IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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It is often argued that forcing young children to do
voluntry
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voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 during their leisure
time
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 would not only have
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positive
postive
Correct article usage
a postive
show examples
 impact on
themseleves
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themselves
 but
also
Linking Words
 on their whole
societies
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society
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. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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 statement because it
distort
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distorts
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 and
demolish
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demolishes
show examples
 the true meaning and the
essense
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essence
 of volunteer. Some would claim that asking the teenagers to volunteer in projects during their free
time
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 would provide
this
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 category
a
Add the preposition
with a
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well round
Add a hyphen
well-round
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prespective
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perspective
 about the importance of helping others without expecting any
montary
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monetary
 return from
this
Linking Words
work
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.
This
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 is because they tend to waste their
time
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing useless activities,
such
Linking Words
 as playing video games and chatting with their friends online, which divert their attention from focusing on allocating
time
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 for giving back to their community. For that reason, it would open their mind to the virtues of contributing to their societies.
Although
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this
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 way might teach teenagers about the advantages of doing unpaid
work
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themselves as well as their communities, it would not help them to effectively embrace the concept of volunteering.
This
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 is because if they are forced to volunteer, it would become more challenging for them to understand the moral value of offering help to others, and
therefore
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 they are more likely to find
an excuses
Correct the article-noun agreement
an excuse
excuses
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 to avoid giving back to their communities and start thinking of what benefit themselves not others. A typical example of
this
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 is that when a school ask young students to participate in charities campaigns
such
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 as cleaning parks
,
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apply
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 and taking care of
elderly
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the elderly
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 after school, a high proportion of them never shows up or expresses their dissatisfaction as they believe that they
are still have
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still have
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 the freedom to choose how to spend their
time
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.
As a result
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, teenagers could form wrong opinions and ideas about volunteering. To sum up, requiring youngers to
preform
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perform
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 voluntary
work
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 whenever they have
time
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 would help them to understand how
this
Linking Words
work
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 could contribute to their personality and societies.
However
Linking Words
, I would disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because it might push them to discard the valuable lesson they could get from
this
Linking Words
 job.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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