IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

You have recently made a purchase from the local department store. However, when you arrived home, you found a fault awith it. Write a letter to the manager, say what product is, explain the problem and say what you’d like to be done about it.

#purchase #department #store #home #fault #awith #manager #product #you’d
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you are well. I am writing to complain about the recent purchase of a
laptop
 from your
store
 on August 25, 2024. A few days ago, I planned to purchase a new
laptop
 from your
store
. A friendly lady in the
store
 asked about my needs and patiently recommended the most suitable one.
Finally
, I spent one thousand dollars on the new
laptop
. After I went back home, I noticed that the
laptop
 was not working when I started it. I
initially
 thought
this
laptop
 might be out of battery, but it still could not be started after charging.
Therefore
, I contacted a technical expert to check the
laptop
, and he told me that it was absolutely broken. The
laptop
 is under warranty, and I would be satisfied if you would kindly replace it with a new one or refund my money. Meanwhile, I believe it is a random mistake because your
store
 has a positive reputation in the local community. Thank you for your help, and I look forward to your response. Best regards, Jackie Ding
Submitted by dingjc867328784 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve a perfect score, consider providing a bit more detail regarding the store's return or exchange policy, if known. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the situation and could make your request more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, you may elaborate on the interaction with the technical expert before describing what actions you want the manager to take.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a respectful and polite tone throughout which is suitable for communication with a store manager.
complete response
The letter clearly addresses all parts of the task: describing the product, explaining the problem, and stating what action you want to be taken.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately polite and formal.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: