The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while others believe that it is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

We are living in a world where the Internet starts to take a lot of places. Indeed, even physical shopping has been replaced by online shopping. It is the birth of a lot of controversies. In
this
essay, we will discuss the benefits and drawbacks
about
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
new form of shopping.
Firstly
, for many people, shopping online is easier because you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want. Accessing
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
evrything
Correct your spelling
everything

The word evrything is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

has never been so easy, whereas in stores some stuff
were
Change the verb form
was

The verb were does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
sometimes out of stock.
Then
, everyone can stay at home and just wait with nothing to do. As it is faster as well it
look
Change the verb form
looks

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb look are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
like magic. For
this
reason, many people
enjoys
Change the verb form
enjoy

The singular verb enjoys does not appear to agree with the plural subject people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
this
method especially,
thus
living to the
contryside
Correct your spelling
countryside

The word contryside is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.
Then
, living far away from the city takes a massive time, from 30 minutes to one hour, just to see the edge of the town. But, it is a nightmare
that is
hidden behind all
this
wonderful process. Indeed,
bankruptcy
Add an article
the bankruptcy

The noun phrase bankruptcy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of markets is one of the sad consequences . The centre of the town is less attractive and a couple of stores are suffering a decline
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
funds because of
this
. We have some issues with an increase
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
poverty in
this
departement
Correct your spelling
department

The word departement is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.
Then
it is the spark for many people to lose their job. To conclude, I believe that it is killing human lives to only count on the Internet. Networks are funny but not when they take
of
Replace the word
off

It appears that of is not correct in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
some job to a good citizen.
Submitted by eve.gilquin06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Need a higher score on IELTS Writing?
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.