IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed. But it has created problems that did not exist before. what are the serious problems associated with the internet and what suggestions.

#internet #information #suggestions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has a huge success
inchanging
Correct your spelling
in changing
 the nature and
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 of the
entworld
Correct your spelling
world
. It has changed the life of the
people
Use synonyms
 to great extent. In
this
Linking Words
worldevery
Correct your spelling
world every
 thing has its own benefits and problems so does
internet
Use synonyms
 has its own pros and cons too. Here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
what problems are faced due to
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and how to eradicate them. The
first
Linking Words
 and the big problem is personal communication.
People
Use synonyms
 are so much busy
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social sites as they do not interact with
people
Use synonyms
 personally. So to reduce
this
Linking Words
 kind of problem
people
Use synonyms
 should organise social programs and invite the members of the society to take part in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as
people
Use synonyms
 can interact personally. Another serious issue children spent
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time surfing on social media, playing games on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and watching movies which in return
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 their study and they do not do any physical type of activities or play some sports which is very essential to keep
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health. Parents should keep a close eye on the
performnce
Correct your spelling
performance
 of the child and teach them what is best for them.
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has created has another big problem by providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal things and
actitvities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 it teaches about how to prepare weapons
such
Linking Words
 as bombs and machines guns which is very dangerous for the
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 banking has
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 much easier to
tranfer
Correct your spelling
transfer
 money from one account to another but it has given
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hackers to look into your personal banking details.The government of the country should take it seriously and frame
such
Linking Words
 laws that will put
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 behind the bars. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, humans should understand what are merits and demerits of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and they should use the
internet
Use synonyms
 for their own and
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of their society. They should
also
Linking Words
 find
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 possible way to reduce the negative impact of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by shwetaverma30722 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: