Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Other believe that they should live with family members. Do you agree or disagree?

In the present age, there has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether elderly people should live with their families or at senior homes. Many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
argue that it is better for them to spend their days at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement homes,
while
others believe that old
parents
always should be with their children. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view and I feel
this
way because of two reasons which I explain in the following essay.
To begin
with, the primary reason we have to take into consideration is that old people have many valuable experiences that are really beneficial for young individuals to know them.
Furthermore
, grandparents are able to share their successes and failures and give important advice to the next generations.
For instance
, they can speak to their grandchildren about life in the past and
also
the challenges that they will face in the future.  The second reason
that is
worth pointing out is that
parents
spend many years to grow their children in a good condition so it is not fair to leave them in a retirement house when they need more caring and attention.
Moreover
, all individuals have a responsibility to
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
after their old
parents
and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not hurt their feelings.
For example
, if
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
have tried to make a big family and do many things for them during the years, they will expect to spend their difficult days within their family.
To sum up
, I would like to say that I strongly disagree with the statement that old individuals ought to live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
senior places. The main factor that we have to take into consideration is that there are advantages both for
parents
and kids. In fact, if they live with family members, will not feel lonely and
in addition
, they can provide much useable advice for
young
Correct word choice
younger
show examples
generations.
Submitted by sajedehmo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay covers the main points of the topic, but make sure to clearly position your stance in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, and your ideas are organized and connected well. However, work on having a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: