In many parts of the world there is continuous converage of sport on television. Some people believe that this discourages the young from taking part In any sports themselves. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

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With satellite channels and pay-per-view sporting events reigning the scene, more and more

kids

spend their

time

watching

sports

television

This

trend is addressed by some people claiming that, if protracted, watching

sports

may prevent children from physical activity. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will acknowledge

this

view and explain why I firmly disagree. Some claim that spending

time

watching

sports

may be detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

children’s health and reduce their

first

-person engagement in physical activities. Spending

time

watching

television

is unhealthy whatever the programme and, on top of that, the more

time

is spent in front of the

television

the more the levels of motivation to perform a task decline.

This

has been

further

shown by scientists who, through MRI study of children’s brain before and after watching

television

, revealed how the dopamine levels of the brain area linked to motivation strongly decreased.

Furthermore

, witnessing the pinnacle of

sports

entertainment may take away the thrill and the excitement of performing the same moves on the actual playground. Many in fact, feel as if they are not good enough to perform as well as their

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

heroes do. For these reasons many could think that

sports

are dissuading children from engaging in physical activities. Despite looking unhealthy to the uneducated,

time

spent watching

sports

television

may actually be useful for children while,

on the contrary

, it may reveal itself to be very harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their older parents. Watching their hero win a championship may just be the trigger for many

kids

to play the same game and put tons of effort to reach their goal. Everybody in fact, especially at a young age, has the dream of becoming a superstar like the soccer players in their favourite clubs. In support of that, all the little players from the junior selection of Manchester United declared to their interviewers that they wouldn’t have started playing football if it weren’t for their idols.

In addition

to that, is not the

kids

that actually are hampered by the sedentary behaviour of watching

sports

on the

. Those who spend much of their free

time

in front of the screen in spite of taking care of their physical well-being are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults ranging from 40 to 60 years. The attitude of these brackets of age, alongside

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being the worst example possible for their sons, has shown to be one of the main causes of cardiovascular diseases. It is

then

safe to say that the most endangered from watching

sport are the adults, whereas the

kids

may just find it beneficial. In conclusion, while letting our younger friends watch

sports

television

might be detrimental according to some people, the actual situation is completely different. Watching

sports

in fact enhances motivation levels in the

kids

. Their parents

in contrast

are those who should actually switch off their televisions. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I discussed why, despite seeming a harmful activity, soccer games and sport

in general

Add the comma(s)

, in general,

show examples

are a good promoter of physical activity from a young age, through leading the

kids

by example and motivating them to take on bigger and bigger challenges.

Submitted by s.didonato on Sun Aug 22 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

522 words

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In many parts of the world there is continuous converage of sport on television. Some people believe that this discourages the young from taking part In any sports themselves. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities，the government encourages business move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In order to solve traffic problems, the government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transport. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

As a result of electronic inventions ,people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health . To what extent do you agree or disagree