One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

It is believed that technological advancements have enhanced the quality of treatment and healthcare service, which allow people to live longer and healthier. In my opinion, the boons of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology in the health sector are far greater than its setbacks. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify my points.

First

and foremost, the amelioration of treatment has helped remedy the lives of millions and enhanced the quality of life of many patients. In previous centuries, numerous citizens around the world were infected or jeopardized by communicable diseases.

However

, with the development of breakthrough inventions

such

as antibiotics, painkillers or vaccines, many lives have been cured of these fatal diseases, which deters the loss of humanity.

Moreover

, the utilization of technology in the welfare areas may help decline the workload of caregivers and resolve the shortage of human resource issues in many developing nations.

For instance

, the use of eHealth applications can help physicians monitor their patients remotely and reduce the frequency of doctor visits or having robots to assist elderlies at home that can help reduce the workload of nurses.

On the other hand

, authorities may face several challenges with the rising population number annually.

Firstly

, administrations may need to find extra rooms to accommodate the increasing global inhabitants by constructing more housing facilities or residential areas.

Moreover

an alternative sources

Correct the article-noun agreement

alternative sources

an alternative source

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of sustenance may need to be promoted in order to meet the demand of billions of people.

Last

but not least, environmental issues may be another obstacle that global leaders may have to deal with with the increase in transportation demand. To sum up, while I strongly agree that there are a plethora of benefits that modern healthcare services can bring to human society, there are

also

some challenges that require imperative cooperation from global leaders.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Sun Aug 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?