IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays,in some countries around the world,men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects to society and family life?

The pressure to be wealthy so as to experience a better lifestyle has been the focus of the younger generation. Forcing them to stat-up families in old age because they spent their youth advancing careers,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 leads to an increased ratio of adults to the young in the society and affects how parents bond with their children. The education system has a huge impact on future decisions individuals make as it
emphases
Replace the word
emphasises
show examples
; the way to a comfortable life is through
Correct your spelling
hard
show examples
had
Correct your spelling
hard
show examples
 work,both academically and
businesses
Change preposition
in businesses
show examples
 wise. For
this
Linking Words
 reason,people spend
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of time advancing their professional qualifications and building businesses, neglecting the need to have children because they believe they can not afford to provide
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 needs of a child
such
Linking Words
 as clothing without financial stability.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 lead to an increase in the adult population compared to the young due to
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 gap and has a negative effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a whole. The economic boom of a country is highly dependant on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energetic young residents.
For instance
Linking Words
,to promote infrastructure development,youths are required to perform harder duties
such
Linking Words
 as assembling building materials like blocks which are needed to complete the construction faster. Advancement in age means the body is degenerating in physique as well as mentally. To a woman,complications associated with
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
 increase with age predisposing her to deliver by caesarian section. Meaning she will have a wound
post operatively
Correct your spelling
postoperatively
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 affecting the process of mother-child bonding because she may end up spending less time with her child due to pain. To sum up,conceiving late may have academic benefits but contrary the society and family life could suffer in the end.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • developments
  • adulthood
  • education
  • career
  • financial stability
  • ready
  • start a family
  • assisted reproductive technologies
  • personal fulfillment
  • self-development
  • improved healthcare
  • life expectancies
  • cultural factors
  • religious factors
  • access
  • birth control methods
  • responsibilities
  • challenges
  • parenthood
  • influence
  • media
  • popular culture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: