It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Many nations have been facing an issue of low enrolment rates in science.
This
is because the science-related subjects themselves are considered hard-to-achieve ones, and promotions of the learning
outcomes
of
such
majors tend to be insufficient. If
this
situation persists, society will not be able to advance its development ladder. One of the reasons why there are inadequate
students
choosing science-related majors is that these subjects are perceived by many as difficult ones to master. They require
students
to have a strong maths foundation and spend extra time doing self-learning in order to attain desirable learning
outcomes
, which is not a fun thing that most adolescents love to do.
Furthermore
, there have not been sufficient promotions of the important roles played by science to improve society. When limited successful stories of scientists or other professionals closely related and their applications of the new inventions are available and spread like wildfire, not many
students
would be aware of the expected
outcomes
they can get if they choose to study STEM. Take Cambodia as an example. With limited or no campaigns on STEM learning
outcomes
, not many
students
are inspired to study STEM. With
this
situation taking place, it would be difficult for society to move upward the development ladder. Without innovations through scientific research, there will be no tools or technologies to smoothen the performance of the individual workforce. Imagine if there had not been the Internet, human communication would not be as convenient as it is today.
Hence
, it is imperative that countries need to build human resources in the STEM field in order for them to transform the countries into developed ones. In conclusion, the causes why the STEM enrolment rate is persistently low are
due to
the subjects' perceived difficulty
as well as
limited awareness-raising campaigns done to promote the essence of science,
while
the effect would be that the countries will lag behind in their quests to become economically advanced nations.
Submitted by emteeme on

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General
Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea. Your essay does this well, but always verify to maintain clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases more extensively to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
Task Achievement
While your examples and explanations are strong, try to enrich them further with even more specific data or personal anecdotes.
Introduction
The introduction clearly states the problem and its implications.
Relevance
Examples, such as the situation in Cambodia, effectively illustrate your points.
Conclusion
Conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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