Big companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities

It is righty said that powerful

companies

help to

built

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build

show examples

the strong and

develop

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developing

show examples

countries . After

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

globalization

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,globalization

show examples

various

companies

around the world have done wonders in the market and they are able to make huge profits. Some experts argue that these

companies

should take the responsibility for physical and social upliftment of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. I

am partially agree

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partially agree

show examples

with the statement. It is correctly said that it should be

responsibility

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the responsibility

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government

Correct article usage

the government

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for the glorification of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

but today Giant

companies

also

taking part in it like Microsoft , Reliance , Apple , Google, JWS

sports

etc. Today multinational building NOG, welfare foundation ,

Sport

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Sports

show examples

academy , Schools , colleges , hospital

more over

Correct your spelling

moreover

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they are organizing blood donation camps

also

. By doing these noble work, these giants are adverting their brands , helping the

government

to empower the

society

also

provide

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life to the talented people of their

country

by sponsoring them

For example

Reliance which is one of the leading

company

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companies

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in India . They built

non profitable

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non-profitable

show examples

organization . , hospitals , schools , IPL team. By

this

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,this

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they are showing their presence in the

country

and

also

publicizing their products like JIO , mobiles.

This

not only

end

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ends

show examples

here

Add the word(s)

but ,

show examples

Correct your spelling

doing

show examples

doings

Correct your spelling

doing

show examples

all these

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

they are

also

showing their power in the

country

, due to which many foreign

invertors

Correct your spelling

investors

show examples

and

companies

are investing in Reliance . But there is another

face

Correct your spelling

facet

show examples

of the coin

also

. These

companies

will do good deeds when they will get good returns from it

otherwise

they will do nothing. It is correctly said by the elders that if anyone is doing something for someone, the same is expecting in return. Basically to make

society

better , upgrading the

sports

all these are the responsibility of the

government

of the

country

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

also

taking

lot

Add an article

a lot

show examples

of steps to promote

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

, opening

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

blood donation camps ,

government

hospitals etc because at

last

Add a comma

,last

show examples

they are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tax taker. Even now state

government

also

Add a missing verb

has also

show examples

started promoting the

sports

like Orissa is now sponsoring Hockey for

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

10 years. In the nutshell , I would like to emphasize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the mixed role of the state and corporates for the wellness and prosperity of the general public.

Submitted by manseeratkaur28 on Mon Aug 23 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

381 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Big companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the goverment help prevent debt problems and support such people?

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nuritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?