IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the world is developing rapidly and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's living standards are improving a lot than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 previous time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the youth generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 too many
choices
Use synonyms
 in their lives. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, but there are some
backdraws
Correct your spelling
back draws
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give some opinions about
this
Linking Words
 statement, especially in studying. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 have lots of
choices
Use synonyms
 to decide what they learn in university because the youth have the chance to access many sources of information and explore their hobbies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to make their own decisions to learn
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 level.
That is
Linking Words
 different from their
parents
Use synonyms
' s period, many
people
Use synonyms
 had to give up their
studying
Replace the word
studies
show examples
 to find a job for earning money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or get married to obey their family.
In addition
Linking Words
, nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 can choose to start up their own business or not. There are many organizations to provide money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creative ideas from the youth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 do not have the right
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
choices
Use synonyms
 in studying. Many younger
people
Use synonyms
 live with their strict
parents
Use synonyms
 who want their children to learn what
parents
Use synonyms
 want. Students can not pursue their dreams because they have to satisfy others' desires.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some women in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undeveloped countries are unable to go to school due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
religious rules.
For instance
Linking Words
, many Afgan girls are not allowed to learn in schools and they are forced to stop their studying. These girls have no choice except
obeying
Change the verb form
to obey
show examples
 the rules, but they are fighting for their
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 in the twenty-one century have
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
choices
Use synonyms
 in their lives
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compares to their
parents
Use synonyms
, but in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 are still struggling with their rights, especially in getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permission to go to school.
Submitted by hothimyhoa26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: