IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge fo its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

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Some individuals believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should provide opportunities for
students
Use synonyms
 to pass their graduation period with enough
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and skills to go to
work
Use synonyms
. Others think that the responsibility of
universities
Use synonyms
 is just to provide good facilities to access data. It is claimed that
universities
Use synonyms
 can be a good place for
students
Use synonyms
 to improve their
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and find their way to
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 idea is effective for all
students
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 because they do not worry about their fortune and they can make a plan at the beginning of their study course.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have enough time to develop their skills so that they can prove themselves. Of course, good teachers play an important role in
this
Linking Words
 situation. They can describe the atmosphere of the workplace and teach some notices to introduce themselves in a good way.
For example
Linking Words
, they can teach them how to make a good portfolio to be impressive for getting a job in an agency. Actually, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. On the other side, other groups believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should provide enough facilities to access information without paying attention to preparing situations to go to
work
Use synonyms
 in future.
In other words
Linking Words
, these
universities
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 try to focus on academic aspects rather than being practical places for them. There are a lot of drawbacks. One of the negative points is that those graduated
students
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 do not have enough time to try and error in
work
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many companies do not trust these
students
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 to allow them to
work
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 even as a trial.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some people believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should provide graduates with the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and skills needed to find job positions,
whereas
Linking Words
 other groups think that
universities
Use synonyms
 just concentrate on providing facilities to access
knowledge
Use synonyms
.

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relevant specific examples
The essay could benefit from more detailed and specific examples to support the main points, particularly in the second paragraph.
clear comprehensive ideas
Improve clarity by avoiding repetitive phrases and refining sentence structures. For instance, replace 'teachers can teach some notices' with 'teachers can provide important guidance.'
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression. The introduction needs to more clearly state the main argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help structure the argument.
complete response
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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