In the fight against crime, police forces and government are increasingly using security cameras in public places. Some people are opposed to this, saying that it invades our privacy. What do you think?

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Nowadays, a lot of
people
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
concerned about their
security
, and so there is using more public
security
such
as
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
in public
areas
.
However
, many
people
do not agree with them to have more public
cameras
.
This
essay will discuss whether
this
is correct. To start with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
security
usually has two main arguments. The first one is prevention. It
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
argued that having
cameras
everywhere in public spaces
such
as streets and transportation
areas
. It can decrease the number of committing
crimes
because the criminals scare the camera that it can capture and record their
crimes
. Another reason, installing
cameras
in
areas
where it does not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more
people
can prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
because many outlaws often commit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
in secret
areas
and
also
it helps police to identify
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
easily by recording video. Both
points
Correct subject-verb agreement
point
show examples
that aim
Verb problem
the
show examples
police to keep
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
peace. That said, if we have many public
cameras
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy will be reduced.
First,
I think they should install only public places, do not place
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
private
areas
as
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Since no one
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
the police or
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
looking
Change the verb form
to look
show examples
into their home.
Moreover
,
people
should look after themselves and
concerned
Add a missing verb
be concerned
show examples
about the government knowing where
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are at all times.
Finally
, many public
security
agencies use
this
technology device
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
but we do not have to trust everybody since we cannot relieve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others. In conclusion,
while
the public
cameras
are help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
a lot of
people
avoid the
crimes
, the privacy of the
people
must be protected as much as possible. In my opinion, public
security
is necessary but it can record video, it
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to share
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
about who can access
this
data.
Submitted by Marker & Kaohom on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
The topic is addressed, and both sides of the argument are considered, showing a balanced approach.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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