IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful for viewers, while other disagree. what is your opinion.

#people #tv #advertisements #viewers
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Commercials
Use synonyms
 are
great
Add an article
a great
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 way to promote a
product
Use synonyms
 or even launch a new
product
Use synonyms
 in
market
Add an article
the market
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. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 advertisements are in
favored
Replace the word
favour
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 of
audience
Add an article
the audience
an audience
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 but some are against
of
Change preposition
apply
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it. In my opinion,
commercials
Use synonyms
 are in viewers support and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views.
Firstly
Linking Words
, television
commercials
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fantastic method to give information about the
product
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, if some company is bringing a phone or
a
Change the article
the
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next
Linking Words
 series of
existed
Add an article
the existed
an existed
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 in the market, TV
adds
Correct your spelling
ads
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 can give them the platform to exhibit the phone appearance or features.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
commercials
Use synonyms
 could promote small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
also
Linking Words
 and become helpful to establish
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
flourishing
Correct article usage
The flourishing
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 of businesses is
vital
Add an article
a vital
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 part
for
Change preposition
of
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 any countries economic growth. sometimes TV
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
 are very useful to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about situations
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 instance, government airs
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
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 about income tax dates or
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 information, to aware
people
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it.
however
Linking Words
, some commercial
are
Change the verb form
is
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 about a
product
Use synonyms
 which reveals too much, some person finds uncomfortable, especially, when they are sitting with their children. Occasionally company broadcast their
product
Use synonyms
 many times in a day to invade
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumer’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 even their
product
Use synonyms
 is not worthy. Along with that,
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 finds advertisement invasive into a program. In my view,
commercials
Use synonyms
 make aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 products and can help to compare in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 which is good for consumers. To conclude, many
viewer
Change to a plural noun
viewers
show examples
 finds advertisement very educative and easy way to communicate a mass about some ongoing situation.
Submitted by juhi.s on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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