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Band 5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Technology has made wonders in every field same is with farming as many crops which are grown are hybrid species to increase the yield.Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 advances it is observed that hunger is still one of the major
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
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 prevalent throughout the world. In
this
 essay reasons and solutions to
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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 problem will be explained in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and foremost reason for
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 notion is
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 costs of
agricultrual
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 produce rises due to increased investment.
Although
, it is crystal clear that to obtain higher produce hybrid seeds, good quality fertilisers, insecticides
etcetra
Correct your spelling
etcetera
 are required which are expensive resulting in
price
Correct article usage
a price
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 hike of the
producrtion
Correct your spelling
production
. To illustrate the cost of laboratory prepared seeds is
muvch
Correct your spelling
much
 more as compared to the normal seed and the type of nourishment and climate conditions required for its yield
also
 need
good
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a good
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 sum of money. in
this
 whole
process
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,process
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 the price of end product rises which makes it out of
pockect
Correct your spelling
pocket
 of a daily wage earner.
In addition
 to
this
, to tackle the problem it is important to decrease the production cost.
This
 can be done by shifting to
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of less attractive packaging material.
Furthermore
 , branding of the product increases the cost so, to obtain lower prices farm yields should be sold directly from point of its production. Apart from
this
 , a maximum selling price should be fixed by
government
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the government
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 so that people can be protected from unnecessary taxes which are implemented by private industries. To sum up,
population
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a population
the population
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 which is below
poverty
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the poverty
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 line is still not able to earn food for their families even after the increased
produce
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production
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 and
this
 problem can be sorted out with joint efforts of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and government.
Submitted by germanvarpal1 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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