Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academic achievement.Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

Looking towards highly socioeconomic disparity, there have been efforts made by professionals by implementing
uniforms
for children at
school
. While some says
school
uniforms
infringe upon
students
’ right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behaviour and academic achievement. In my opinion, some set of rules to avoid discrimination on
demographic
Correct article usage
a demographic
show examples
basis are rather worth than need to express individuality.
To begin
with,
school
uniform makes
school
a safer place for
students
, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes.
Uniforms
can be treated as
unique
Add an article
a unique
the unique
show examples
identity to promote positivity which
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
students
to have the same
school
spirit. In our society,
uniforms
have always been used to promote ideas and belongings. There is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
why
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
Army has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own
uniforms
, IT sectors use
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
formal dress code, every quiz competition
defined
Add a missing verb
is defined
show examples
by their own set of
wearing
Replace the word
wears
show examples
. In
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
students
can
also
be focused on their studies rather than appearances.
School
attire provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transparency in the campus and gives equal treatment to every individual despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their economic background. On other hand, some people think that
students’
Correct your spelling
students
show examples
have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to express their individuality. They can experiment with their clothing and accessories. Having
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
dress code limits their creativity to convey themselves. Going
further
, there have been scenarios evidenced that children from some schools have
beenviolently
Correct your spelling
been violently
targeted easily with the help of
uniforms
. In conclusion,
although
both of the sides have winning content, I would like to go with the uniform as it is
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
, helps prevent
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to feel less confident based on how they dress and of course it’s convenient to
students
as well
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents.
Submitted by nitsam3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: