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Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
In today’s world,
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 sector is majorly growing and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 production has
also
 increased but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
people
 are suffering from hunger.
This
 is a major concern of the country’s
population
 and
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 attention. The root cause and solutions of these problems are discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Primarily, the main cause of
this
 concern is
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in
population
. The
population
 in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 is growing
day
 by
day
 due to which there is
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
show examples
 of
food
 and many
people
 do not get enough
food
.
Moreover
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
day
 the cost of production of
food
 is increasing due to which market value of
food
 is
also
 increasing and poor
people
 can not afford these meals. Apart from
this
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 storage problems in the countries as these
food
cereals
 are of perishable nature and due to which sometimes
food
 gets damaged due to moisture and other climatic conditions and
people
 cannot consume
such
 items.
For instance
, in our
vicinity
Add a comma
,vicinity
show examples
 there was
cold
Correct article usage
a cold
show examples
 storage house, and
rain water
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
 entered the building due to which tons of
cereals
 got damaged.
However
, every problem has a solution. So, governments of
concerned
Add an article
the concerned
a concerned
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 should take some positive measures to cope up with
this
 major concern.
First
 of all, schemes should be introduced to control the
population
 as rewards should be given to the small families by which other
people
 will
also
 be encouraged.
Secondly
,
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 check and balance system should be there as every storage house has
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
show examples
 system to store the
cereals
 safely.
Furthermore
, as
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
show examples
 government is providing
cereals
 at low cost to poor
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 similar steps can be taken by authorities around the globe.
In addition
 to
this
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should curtail the exportation of
food
 products so that its own
population
 can have enough
food
. To conclude, I would like to say that as
every
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
day
 advancements are made in
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
show examples
 sector to increase
food
 production
similarly
such
 advancements should be made in the government policies.
Submitted by hmann2396 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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