IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
It is a considerable issue that the average weight of
people
 in some Countries is rising, while their health levels and fitness are going down. In my opinion, the reason for these problems is related to
people
's lifestyle. There are many reasons that can cause health issues in individuals’
life
. On the one hand, employees who contribute to big corporations and work overtime are cultivated a sedentary lifestyle. It is a detrimental type of habit that can increase the risk of many health problems.
For example
, obesity, high blood fat, even strokes usually happen in
this
 group.
On the other hand
, unhealthy eating
habits
 are responsible for losing fitness. Individuals live a busy
life
 in a bustling city who have insufficient time and energy to make a decent meal. In observation,
this
 group tend to eat fast food made with high-level oil
instead
 of healthy cooking. The experts suggest that overeating
such
 over-processed meals in daily
life
 is a highly unhealthy lifestyle that can cause varieties of devastating diseases. To solutions, some effective approaches could change these unhealthy
habits
 to solve the over-weight problem.
Firstly
, doing sports should be promoted to those sedentary groups.
For example
, having a jog or walk(Jogging or walking) is easy to insist on for most fitness beginners.
Secondly
,
people
 who are obsessed with fast food should control their diets and change their eating strategies. They can choose to purchase balanced organic ingredients
such
 as vegetables and fresh meat in supermarkets and stores.
In other words
, having unprocessed cuisine is the best solution to keep healthy diet
habits
. In conclusion, forming healthy
habits
 in
life
 is a crucial aspect for maintaining a stable, healthy level, along with
people
's willingness to make a change.
Submitted by cantodamomo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: