IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

#crime #world
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Nowadays, the number of
criminals
Use synonyms
 is increasing every year and becoming a difficult problem in the world. A large number of people think that we cannot have any solutions to solve the problem of
crime
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In my opinion, there is a variety of methods for
crime
Use synonyms
 prevention.
Firstly
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,
police
Correct article usage
the police
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 force who represents the authority of
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and enforce the law, they have
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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 for deterring the offenders.
For example
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, the police officers often patrol streets and if they detect
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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suspicious or criminal activities
such
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 as
terrorism
Replace the word
terrorist
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 attacks in time.
Therefore
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, they keep the public
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 and make life safer.
Secondly
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, prison is a common way for
criminals
Use synonyms
. The imprisonment can prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dangerous
criminals
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such
Linking Words
 as murders and terrorists from affecting negatively the safety of other citizens.
As a result
Linking Words
, the countries will reduce
crime
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 rates in society.
On the other hand
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, there are some reasons why many people believe that nothing can really inhibit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
. One
reasons
Change to a singular noun
reason
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 view is that
crime
Use synonyms
 rates have risen in recent years and the types of
crime
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 are quite complicated.
Consequently
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, it is difficult for police officers to fully prevent and control
crime
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.
In addition
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, more offenders committed crimes again after they have been punished.
For example
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, some juvenile
criminals
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 continue
have
Add the particle
to have
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 criminal activities
such
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 as shoplifting or violent
crime
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although
Linking Words
 they received education and rehabilitation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
 is one of the important problems facing the nation, I believe that every effort from the government and individuals can deter
crime
Use synonyms
 with some solutions motioned above.
Submitted by parneetdhindsa12 on

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