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Band 6

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
Many people have the opinion that having a set
retirement
age
 for each and every person regardless of their job, is unfair. They
also
 have a strong
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that
ceryain
Correct your spelling
certain
 range of workers should retire early and get
pension
Add an article
a pension
show examples
 at
earlier
Add an article
an earlier
show examples
age
. As
this
 total argument is true, I will illustrate my opinion below.
Firstly
, a set
retirment
Correct your spelling
retirement
age
 is very uncertain and unfair as they are many kinds of jobs , all those jobs
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 support the same time
retriement
Correct your spelling
retirement
, As some
work
 is
physically
Replace the word
physical
show examples
 and mental
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
. So it is always varied from
work
 to
work
.
For instance
, My father is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 school teacher as he is
workiing
Correct your spelling
working
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 20 years, his vocal chord is
delibratately
Correct your spelling
deliberately
 affected and
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 he's not able
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 talk as he would earlier. In
this
 is
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 should be a necessary option to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
eariler
Correct your spelling
earlier
retirement
 and should initiate
ann
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early pension. My father got the justice as it is a serious problem is got the
retirement
 at the
age
 of 45.
Secondly
, Workers with more physical pressure should be
benifited
Correct your spelling
benefited
 from
retirement
. Physical
work
 that includes the construction business in which the people will have more stress as compared to the government
employs
Replace the word
employees
show examples
. The hospital
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 should
also
 be supported.
For example
, as cricketers will have before time retiral from
work
, as they cannot
work
 as
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
 as they
work
 below the
age
 of 30, so the maximum
age
 will only be
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 35 years
age
 and after the retiral
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
 they will be given other jobs which are suitable in that given year. The conclusion, I definitely agree that 65 years
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
 is
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all sorts of works. Professions like Teachers and Police officers and others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should provide an early pension
then
 it will be fair in all aspects.
Submitted by tassajay93 on

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