Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

Many people have the opinion that having a set

retirement

age

for each and every person regardless of their job, is unfair. They

also

have a strong

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

that

ceryain

Correct your spelling

certain

range of workers should retire early and get

pension

Add an article

a pension

show examples

earlier

Add an article

an earlier

show examples

age

. As

this

total argument is true, I will illustrate my opinion below.

Firstly

, a set

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

age

is very uncertain and unfair as they are many kinds of jobs , all those jobs

donot

Correct your spelling

do not

don't

support the same time

retriement

Correct your spelling

retirement

, As some

work

physically

Replace the word

physical

show examples

and mental

stress

Replace the word

stressful

show examples

. So it is always varied from

work

For instance

, My father is

Change the article

show examples

school teacher as he is

workiing

Correct your spelling

working

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

20 years, his vocal chord is

delibratately

Correct your spelling

deliberately

affected and

know

Change the verb form

knows

show examples

he's not able

Add the particle

to be

show examples

talk as he would earlier. In

this

case

Add an article

the case

a case

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

should be a necessary option to have

Change the article

show examples

eariler

Correct your spelling

earlier

retirement

and should initiate

ann

Correct your spelling

show examples

early pension. My father got the justice as it is a serious problem is got the

retirement

at the

age

of 45.

Secondly

, Workers with more physical pressure should be

benifited

Correct your spelling

benefited

from

retirement

. Physical

work

that includes the construction business in which the people will have more stress as compared to the government

employs

Replace the word

employees

show examples

. The hospital

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

should

also

be supported.

For example

, as cricketers will have before time retiral from

work

, as they cannot

work

effective

Replace the word

effectively

show examples

as they

work

below the

age

of 30, so the maximum

age

will only be

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

35 years

age

and after the retiral

age

Add a comma

,age

show examples

they will be given other jobs which are suitable in that given year. The conclusion, I definitely agree that 65 years

age

Change preposition

of age

show examples

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

suitable

Change preposition

for

show examples

all sorts of works. Professions like Teachers and Police officers and others

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

should provide an early pension

then

it will be fair in all aspects.

Submitted by tassajay93 on Tue Aug 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.
The usage of nuclear power in nations has to be stopped because of its danger, and the countries ought to focus on the renewable energies productions from sun and water. I strongly agree with this statement because of some reasons.
7
band
In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree?
In a few nations, the individual who commit less serious crimes, like stealing or breaking any law, is made to undertake community service instead of jail. While others think that all individuals who have committed a crime might be sent to jail. I am completely convinced with the first view because if a person steals something, it is a crime but he can not be counted in the category of criminal, however, to kill someone, or plan/do a big robbery is a big crime.
6.5
band
In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that the effect of Western and traditional medicines are determined by the mental attitudes of patients toward them while they are increasingly popular in current society. I partially agree with this, for the effects vary greatly regardless of their constant effects on their biological mechanisms.
4
band
In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?
In some cities of the USA, a 'curfew is imposed, in which teenager not allowed . They should go out with adults , in the night.In my opinion, I particularly agree this low, because small boys and girls walking alone in the street, it is dangerous her, his . To explanation, cities is have a many of cars and cars are very fast although, people's children is not allowed go out alone. For example, in the week there were many accidents and it is accident with babbies so it is awful condition.At all is we do not carefully . As a result, teenagers diead early due to an accident, and it is shocking.
8
band
In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In contemporary times, it is a widely held belief that clothes that come from western are more prominent among individuals than traditional ones. This essay will articulate some chiefly driving factors behind this phenomenon as well as agree that the disadvantages eclipse its positive.

Nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?