Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people often advocate what
subjects
or courses should be taught in schools. A section of these people insists that
subjects
like craft, music and drama should be made as imperative as other
subjects
from the elementary level. Learning these practical
subjects
improves students’ intellectual skills and hone their skills for a bright future.
Firstly
, elementary school students can benefit significantly from performance art to improve their self-confidence and open their way to a world of fascination. An explanation for
this
is that offspring from a tender age have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and are more susceptible to adapting to new skills.
As a result
, they should be motivated to apply their brains beyond textbooks and practice their creativity to innovate and invent.
Furthermore
, recruitment often works in a team as part of a team which helps develop their personalities.
Consequently
, offspring studying acting are intended to speak in front of large audiences, which allows them to overcome public speaking fears.
Therefore
, these
subjects
are essential to creating dynamic personalities. Others would disagree with
this
point of view and say that
profession
Correct article usage
the profession
show examples
refrains young
children
from devoting enough time to the more ”serious”
subjects
to pass their essential academic examinations. Notwithstanding, until
children
get to high school, it is more critical to have a good relationship and attitude towards education than passing tests. But if those offspring have capabilities, their talent can be harnessed. It will help the progenies grow up to be successful only if they are provided with an opportunity to study these
subjects
from a very young youth.
To sum up
, it may be concluded that painting, dance and acting should be given equal footing in the primary classroom because they allow artistically talented
children
to learn more effectively. It is unwise to pressure
children
to pass maths and science exams at
such
a young age.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school
subjects
, especially at the primary level.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay starts with a clear introduction that lays out the main argument. However, try to better define your stance in the introduction and tie it back in the conclusion to create a stronger message.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance cohesion. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader.
supported main points
Better support your main points with specific examples and factual information. This will make your arguments more compelling and credible.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify some points using simpler language to ensure your ideas are easily understood. Avoid overly complex sentences where simpler ones can suffice.
complete response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument.
relevant specific examples
You effectively discussed how practical subjects can build self-confidence and foster creativity, which are very relevant and insightful points.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point of view. This makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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