IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #english #jobs #access
It is often believed that
,
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apply
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 being proficient in
English
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the English
show examples
language
 helps us to secure a high paying
job
,
further
; it leads to a better lifestyle. I completely disagree with
this
 statement; as
,
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apply
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 it is nothing more than a mode of communication.
Firstly
, we will discuss how
this
 expression of speech is not an important factor and sometimes might be a drawback,
secondly
, we will talk about, why good communication skills might help you
getting
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get
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 a
job
, but later can adversely
impacts
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impact
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the
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your
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 personal life
instead
 of uplifting.
To begin
 with,
large
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a large
the large
show examples
 number of corporate requires experience holder bundled with in-depth knowledgeable employees, rather than, good speakers.
Furthermore
, there
are
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is
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of states, where
regional
Add an article
a regional
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language
 is preferred over
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
,
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apply
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 while selecting a candidate. To illustrate,
i
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I
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 was rejected in an interview in CITI bank in Darbhanga, Bihar, because they wanted a regional
language
 speaker.
Thus
, it is irrational to say that mastery in one
language
 can help us to capitalize
an
Change preposition
on an
show examples
 opportunity.
On the other hand
, one may win a good post through speaking fluently in
British
Add an article
the British
show examples
 style, whereas, he
do
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does
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 lack in basic knowledge with respect to that work profile plus might not be able to justify his salary, as, he was selected on a
criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
criterion
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 which
was
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were
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 irrelevant to
this
 profile. Gradually, it will lead him to performance pressure, which indirectly will ruin his professional life.
For instance
, Ernst and Young
hires
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hire
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 every fresher as a management trainee, whereas, they hired me as an audit executive, as
i
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I
show examples
 was having an edge over others in expressing myself. Though
,
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apply
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 my salary was ample, but I was not well-versed with the required audit techniques. I left the
job
 after 3
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
, as it turned out to be highly depressing for me.
Therefore
, it is the relevant qualification bundled with experience that matters, not speech. To recapitulate, one must be capable of meeting the requirements of the
job
, to seize a good compensating opportunity, rather than, being
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 in English.
Submitted by jatinkochar1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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