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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Most adolescents in developing and developed countries attend high
school
Use synonyms
 education. Some argue that they should contribute to society by spending their leisure doing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 work and not getting any payment for
this
Linking Words
. To some extent, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
Body paragraph 1
In the milestones of human development, adolescence is a unique period when one is not considered a child anymore but not yet seen and treated as an adult. A previous study on developmental psychology showed that it is when we acquire abstract thinking capability and
hence
Linking Words
 start to realise our existence and purpose in life. With
this
Linking Words
, I argue that the time a teenager spent both in
school
Use synonyms
 and outside
school
Use synonyms
 should be focused on exploring his
/
Use synonyms
her interests and developing skills that will be needed in the future.
Although
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 work may help
this
Linking Words
, a teenager should be given the flexibility to choose
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how he
/
Use synonyms
she wants to do it. Doing extracurricular activities at
school
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, joining a paid internship program at a workplace, and participating
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
certain competition of his
/
Use synonyms
her choices are several of many examples of how an adolescent could spend his
/
Use synonyms
her extra time productively.
In addition
Linking Words
, having a choice is something that teenagers value a lot as they
also
Linking Words
 start to develop independence.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, the fact that some of these teenagers do not engage in
such
Linking Words
 activities cannot be neglected. They may,
for example
Linking Words
, involve in a delinquent action. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, obligatory
community
Use synonyms
 work would help them re-align their purposes while benefiting society.
Conclusion
In conclusion, an unpaid
community
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 activity is not a bad thing, but a teenager should be able to decide for him
/
Use synonyms
herself whether or not they want to spend their free time doing it.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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