Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development

this

day and age, thanks to all advancements in technology,

people

’s lives have been facilitated significantly

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

one of which is the monitor systems. Several

people

claim that these devices should not be utilized as they could spread private information

while

others argue that they are useful and have numerous advantages. From my perspective, I am of the opinion that the benefits of

monitor

Replace the word

monitoring

show examples

technology eclipse its drawbacks. On the one hand, it is undeniable that

this

development has downsides. The most notable one is that the private life of citizens is not secured. Cybercriminals and rivals can break into the system with the purpose of searching for documents or information that could threaten their owners,

as well as

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

their money away.

As a result

, a wide range of

people

has lost their savings and crucial files, which makes it harder for them to continue their work and plans.

On the other hand

, I am more convinced that these technological advancements have more beneficial aspects. The primary reason is that these provide evidence and records of crime scenes, which makes it more effortless for the police to solve crimes.

For example

, if there was a burglary at a bank, videos from the security camera could act as a vital factor in the search for the culprit, preventing

further

crimes, which guarantees communal safety.

Additionally

, monitor technology helps

people

store their documents and information,

such

as contact details and statistics. With

this

function,

people

can recall those with no difficulty, in case they forget to note them down. Not only does

this

make a contribution to their work, but it

also

facilitates their daily tasks. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the debut of devices that monitor the

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

of humans has some negative consequences in terms of privacy.

Nonetheless

, I believe that the advantageous impacts of

this

development surpass its downsides.

Submitted by hathuylinh1806 on Wed Aug 25 2021

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for instance
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such as
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?

In some counties young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The computers are widely used in education and some people think that teachers do not play an important role in the classroom. To what extent do you agree???

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?