IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that air travelshould be restricted because it causes serious pollution and up the world's fuel resources. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, in the modern era, technological advancements have increased rapidly, including in transportation.
Air
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travel
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 is one mode of
transport
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 that can connect people worldwide. Some people argue that
air
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travel
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 should be banned,
while
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 others argue
otherwise
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. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both statements and the extent to which I support the second statement.
To begin
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 with, the aviation industry contributes significantly to greenhouse gas emissions and has detrimental effects on the environment. Unlike land
transport
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,
air
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travel
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 consumes larger amounts of fossil fuels. Airplanes release large quantities of CO2 and other harmful gases.
Consequently
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, these substances will be the main factor causing serious pollution. In the future, these processes may damage the earth gradually.
On the other hand
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, technological advancements have always evolved. Today, scientists are competing to invent breakthrough innovations, including advanced modes of
transport
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, that will not adversely affect the environment. Even more, they are already concerned about the importance of eco-friendly innovations. As an example, scientists tried to make aircraft are more less-fuels consuming. Another invention is alternative fuels,
such
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 as biofuels.
Secondly
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, restricting
air
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travel
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 can have significant economic repercussions. In fact,
air
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travel
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 can promote tourism and become one of the biggest work sectors. If the government restrict the flights, many people may be affected and become jobless.
In addition
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,
air
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travel
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 is the only mode of
transport
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 that cannot be replaced by another mode. All things considered,
air
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travel
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 should not be banned. Even though it contributes negatively to the environment, the positive sides supersede the drawbacks. So, the government and scientists should collaborate in order to create effective
air
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travel
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 systems.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the points effectively. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly and strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Try to use connecting words and phrases more effectively to enhance flow and clarity.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument well. This shows good structure.
content knowledge
The essay highlights potential innovations in the aviation industry, such as the development of eco-friendly aircraft and alternative fuels, which shows insight into the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Climate change
  • CO2 emissions
  • High altitudes
  • Fossil fuels
  • Non-renewable energy resources
  • Energy scarcity
  • Sustainable air travel
  • Fuel-efficient aircraft
  • Alternative fuels
  • Economic repercussions
  • Global trade
  • Tourism
  • Alternative modes of transportation
  • Environmental impact
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