IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Celebrities are known for their glamour and lifestyle rather than for their achievements and this sets a bad example for the younger generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is commonly believed
thatFamous
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that famous
personalitiesare
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personalities are
personalities
 more well known for their luxury lifestyle and wealth than the achievement in their career, Which take youngster in
wrong
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the wrong
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 patch . In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 type of behaviour of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 is
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affecting
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effecting
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affecting
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 the children, In the following paragraph
i
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I
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 shell elaborate my view On the one hand, there are many artists who are famous only for being rich and attractive and their behaviour often has an adverse influence on teenagers They send out the message that in order to be famous, you only have to be rich and beautiful . People just try to copy their style of dressing grooming
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
, So automatically people will buy
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
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Use synonyms
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
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, gadgets and
other thing
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another thing
other things
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 that
celebrity
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celebrities
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use , Few Actress post glamorous
picture
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pictures
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in
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on
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
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 social media which is easily influenced during
a
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an
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 adolescent age and they
also
Linking Words
 try to wear
such
Linking Words
dress
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example , Bollywood actress janhvikapoor has always post glamorous and expensive
dress
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 picture in Instagram and these type of
dress
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 has seen a huge sales among youngsters
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some
celebrities
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 who can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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positive role
model
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models
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 for young adults. There are many
scientist
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scientists
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 who
are
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is
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 very simple even being
world famous
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world-famous
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,
There
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Their
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 lifestyle or looks are never gauged , only the contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is only measured ,
best
Add an article
the best
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 example
for
Change preposition
of
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this
Linking Words
 is APJ Abul kalam , his work has always spoken than his
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 To conclude
with
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apply
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, young individuals can be negatively influenced by
celebrities
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 who only advertise their richness and Product .
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 very few
celebrities
Use synonyms
 who can teach us valuable life lessons and provide
good
Add an article
a good
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 contribution to
development
Add an article
the development
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 of the county

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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