IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns. Do more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #countryside #cities #towns
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The Provided graph represents the data of three nations
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 aged from 65 and above in the year 1940 to 2040. Overall, it is predominantly clear that the three countries
population
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 significantly increased.
In contrast
Linking Words
, The USA outraced the other countries
population
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 and stood top.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, Japan has the highest aged
population
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 in 1940 with around 10%. Its number keep on increasing till 1980 with 15% aged
populatuion
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population
.
However
Linking Words
, Japan
experinced
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experienced
 a decline for four decades reached to 14%, and it started to rise slowly and
predicted
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is predicted
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 to increase 23% in 2040.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sweeden started with
6
Correct article usage
a 6
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% older
population
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 in 1940,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it experienced some fluctuations but reached
to
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apply
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20% in 2020. as for the
estimations
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,estimations
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 its aged people number likely to reach 25% in 2040.
In
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At
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 the beginning of the period The
USA
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,USA
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 aged
popultion
Correct your spelling
population
 is very low with 5%. whereas, their number
keep
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keeps
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 on decreasing till 2000 with 4%. Surprisingly the USA showed a
constant
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constantly
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 increased
Correct your spelling
their
thier
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in thier
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population
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 and expected to reach a point of 28%
in
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at
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 the end of
decade
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the decade
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.
Submitted by doondi9999 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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