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Writing Samples /
Band 3

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#phones #devices #place #classroom
Overall, do you think that
propaganda
 changed the course of
wars
 in the past ? In my opinion, I think that
propaganda
 was not only to change the course of
wars
 in the past, it
also
 can change the
wars
 apply nowadays because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
any
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
wars
 around the world, they always want to make sure the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
support
 and follow them due to the right war which they make it.
Therefore
, they have to use
propaganda
 to change the mind of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 and seek
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support
 from as many
people
 as well.
For example
, in my country, in 1954 the civil war
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 my country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 including
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
 of
Vietnam
 which is under
Republican
Correct article usage
the Republican
show examples
 Party and
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 of
Vietnam
 which is under
Communist
Correct article usage
the Communist
show examples
 Party. It's the same situation with Korea nowadays. North of
Vietnam
 used
propaganda
 to make many
people
support
 and follow them to attack South of
Vietnam
 because they want to become a national unity under Communist Party. At the
monent
Correct your spelling
moment
, many
people
 have
realize
Change the verb form
realized
show examples
 that they were wrong in the past because they believe in their
ideals
Correct your spelling
ideas
show examples
 and
support
 them to attack Vietnamese
people
 in
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
 of
Vietnam
. Unfortunately, they miss the boat. We don't have any freedom to express our opinion about everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 is
happning
Correct your spelling
happening
 in our country, even they give us scaremongering if we have any acts which
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 like opposition to the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
. Some activists are arrested for doing that.
Submitted by alexmuted on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Integration
  • Educational settings
  • Learning tools
  • Educational apps
  • Modern teaching methods
  • Unrestricted access
  • Distractions
  • Learning focus
  • Balanced approach
  • Usage policies
  • Pedagogical benefits
  • Classroom dynamics
What to do next:
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