Nowadays many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grand parents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#families #parents #members #care #children #childcare #centres

With the tight work schedule,

Parents

believe that the best option to raise their

children

is to leave them at home with their granddad or grannie, whilst some think that to leave their

children

daycare

Firstly

, grannie and granddad are safer options and they are easier to contact as they relate with the

parents

Secondly

, leaving

children

at a

daycare

provides an experienced expert in raising

children

of many types. Leaving their

children

with the one that related

such

as grandfather or grandmother provides guaranteed safety as they were blood-related with the

children

Furthermore

, the

children

are in family member's responsibility, making them easier to contact.

For example

, if the mother has relaxed time in the office, they could call their father to ask about the

children

’s condition.

In addition

, Scientists believe that 70% of the granddad or grannie teaching methods are similar to the

parents

' teaching styles.

Consequently

, the

children

are used to both of the

parents

' teaching styles. Given these points, it is more secure to leave the

children

at the grandfather or grandmother's supervision. The other option

besides

that is

to entrust the

children

with the

daycare

following them being the expert to handle many types of

children

However

, some argue that the

children

are better within the related custody.

Nonetheless

, some daycares are experienced with various clients and they have another child within their class. Henceforth, the

children

could

also

learn to interact with others. Experts state that the

daycare

could increase

children

’s communication skills by 30%. Seeing that result, the

children

are in the expert’s hands and they

also

learn additional skills. Given the results, entrusting the

children

with the

daycare

can be an alternative as they are specifically the experts in these areas.

Overall

, handing over the

children

to their relatives provides riskless results.

Moreover

daycare

could be an alternative as they are expert in handling various types of

children

Thus

, I strongly suggest the

parents

leave their

children

with

daycare

, as not only they are specialists, but

also

it will not cause inconvenience to the grandparents.

Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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task achievement

The essay satisfactorily addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, but consider adding more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and provide more specificity.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, ensure that each point is clearly expanded with sufficient support and smooth transitions between ideas.

task achievement

The essay effectively introduces both perspectives and provides a balanced discussion, which is essential for a good task response.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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