Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however , say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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Issues related to public health are frequently being discussed these days. Growing concerns are becoming heated questions among the

people

that by improving

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities and indulging

people

into it can reduce health issues. While

this

view is not supported by some critics who oppose it. Both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sides have their logic to support their opinion which will be discussed in

this

dissertation before coming to any conclusion. As far as the matter is concerned, I would like to stamp the mark on

this

view by stating that encouraging citizens to involve

into

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show examples

physical activities like

sports

will have a remarkable impact on the

people

. The

first

and foremost point that strikes my mind is that

sports

aids an individual to be fit as a fiddle. Another noteworthy notion

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

caters attention is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it not only improves

Change preposition

apply

show examples

physical wellbeing but

also

improves mental and social health.

This

matter can be explained

presicely

Correct your spelling

precisely

by citing an example of our

olympics

Change the capitalization

Olympics

Olympic

show examples

gold medalist

Mr.

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show examples

Neeraj Chopra, who in an interview stated that he was very conscious about himself and neither

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show examples

social animal as he was obese. But with the efforts of his

parents

Add a comma

,parents

show examples

was send

Change the verb form

was sent

show examples

Change the article

show examples

sports

academy so that he can reduce weight. That day his life got transformed as he not only became fit but

also

started being happy and made a lot of friends. Probing ahead, another aspect of

this

matter deals with its opposite side. Some

people

are in favour of adding more measures into a

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

show examples

life so that they can remain fit. With

sports

, lifestyle improvement lessons should

also

be given to

remain

Change the verb form

remaining

show examples

healthy.

In addition

this

, government

Change preposition

apply

show examples

should set up open gyms which will allow

people

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

with

Change preposition

without

show examples

the liability of paying money and more pupils will try to stay healthy. After cogitating on a great deal of thought and discussion the conclusion to be drawn here is that everything has its own significant value and if all of these will be clubbed together it

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

positive attitude and

people

will have an optimistic approach towards being healthy.

Submitted by alfmarina05 on Thu Aug 26 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however , say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, despite the benefits of cycling, fewer and fewer people are using bicycles as a means of transportation Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All art needs to be beautiful in order to be valuable. If art is ugly, it is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?