IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The older you get, life becomes more difficult. Give reasons in your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

#life
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People
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 go through various phases and deal with many different situations at every stage of their
lives
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. With the increasing
age
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, the problems that a human face
also
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 increases.
This
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 essay will discuss how
age
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 negatively impacts the
health
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 of an individual and
also
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 how it affects the
lives
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 of the
people
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 around them. The
health
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 of a person deteriorates as his
age
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 increases. Especially, elderly
people
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 suffer from different kinds of ailments as their certain body parts and organs stop responding properly at later stages of their
lives
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. The major contributors to
this
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 development are poor
health
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 habits and a lack of awareness of
health
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-related issues among the old
age
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 community. According to a survey conducted by the
Health
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 Ministry of India, over 30% of the
people
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age
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 60 and above avoid physical activities and need constant medical attention to survive.
Moreover
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, as a person gets older, the
lives
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 of
people
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 around him
also
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 get affected in various aspects. Not only do they have to support the aged member of the family on a physical and an emotional level, but
also
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 they need to spend a significant amount of resources to avail sitter services to keep their aged parents in a good shape.
For instance
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, families with bed-ridden elderly have to allocate and spend more than 40% of their earnings on hiring a permanent caretaker for their parents. In conclusion, as
people
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 grow older, they become more prone to
health
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 issues and become liabilities for themselves as well as for their close ones.
Submitted by akshits030 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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