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Writing Samples
Band 6

in town and cities, the large shopping mall should replace the small local shop. do you agree or disagree?

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The impact of the large shopping
mall
Use synonyms
 replacing small local shops has become the subject of discussion in recent times. As society continues to progress, the number of emerging topics has increased significantly, reflecting the complexity of modern life. Among these diverse debates, one subject that requires particular attention is the large shopping
mall
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will examine the various dimensions of the issue, consider both perspectives where relevant, and present a logical conclusion in response to the question.
To begin
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 with, it is essential to highlight the positive aspects of a large
mall
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. The most important point that demonstrates its constructive role lies in the fact that people can buy anything and save time on one roof.
For example
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, they can buy groceries, food, clothing and even bring their children to play in the
mall
Use synonyms
 playground.
Also
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,
this
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 has shaped economic growth, expanded access to opportunities, and improved standards of living in many parts of the world.
Such
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 development clearly indicates that the advantages of large malls extend beyond convenience.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks to the topic that must
also
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 be considered.
For instance
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, to
further
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 discuss the topic, research has been conducted by various agencies explaining the topic in various ways,
such
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 as social imbalance, stress and reduced quality of life.
Although
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 large
mall
Use synonyms
 contributes to advancement, their negative consequences can not be overlooked. In conclusion, large
mall
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 has both positive impacts and notable drawbacks that affect individuals and society in different ways. The best approach is to recognise its benefits
while
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 carefully managing its challenges to achieve balanced progress.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree or disagree in the first part.
task response
Keep your main idea the same all through the essay. Do not talk in a very general way.
task response
Give more specific reasons about why malls should or should not replace small shops.
task response
Use real and clear examples. Your example about buying many things is good, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, and this is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts do not connect well to the question. Stay close to the topic in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one clear main point and then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the words topic and large mall too much. Use better linking and clearer ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You show both good and bad sides of malls.
task response
You use one example about shopping, food, clothes, and children, and this helps your idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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