IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries, paying for the things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phone #cellphone #apps #development
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is using of a
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
phone
. It is undeniable that a mobile
phone
 has become an essential part of our life.
As a result
, there is a great number of citizens in many countries buy items by its. It is obvious that there are pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 tendency. For the purpose of
this
 essay, both views will be scrutinized.
Correct your spelling
Everybody
show examples
Every body
Correct your spelling
Everybody
show examples
 knows that a cellphone is an extremely useful device for modern individuals. Many people do
purchasing
Change the verb form
purchase
show examples
 by phones in supermarkets as well as online. The main advantage is that people can order any items on the
Internet
 without cash, not looking at location or time. A good example here is the
Internet
 shops
such
 as Amazon or Ali Express when we buy something and get
package
Add an article
the package
a package
show examples
 in one or two days, using
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
. A lot of citizens in many countries do it every day around the world. Another side of
this
 coin is
Internet
frauds
Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
show examples
, the main reason is that to pilfer all money from a bank account is easier by a mobile
phone
. If you visit some unknown
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
 and apply your data about your credit or debit cards rogues may withdraw your money. We should be more careful using a cellphone buying on the
Internet
. Taking
for example
 Russia or Ukraine. It is a common situation for these countries when
phone
’s swindlers try to cheat people. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that advantages overweight disadvantages if we will be wiser and will buy online using only popular
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: