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Band 5.5

It is often claimed that wealthy nations should provide financial support to poorer countries for welfare, health, and education. However, there are those who believe that it is the responsibility of developing nations to provide these services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#nations #support #countries #welfare #health #education #responsibility #services
The vast majority of
people
 believe that wealthy nations
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to provide financial
aid
 for poor
countries
 and help them to improve welfare, medicine and education.
Although
, it is believed that services and financial
aid
 should provide developing
countries
.
This
 essay partially agrees with
such
 a viewpoint because there are counties with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of resources
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 could not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
develop
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 by themselves. It is often believed that rich
countries
 possible
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
help
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 by virtue of their developed economy and wealth fare. One of the most important things is
that poor counties
Change the determiner
that poor county
those poor counties
show examples
faced
Add a missing verb
are faced
show examples
 with different
challenges
such
 as
extremely
Replace the word
extreme
show examples
 poverty, disease and unintelligence so
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 could lead them to
even
Correct article usage
an even
show examples
 worse
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. In some cases, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
surge
Add an article
a surge
the surge
show examples
 of criminals and potentially making some
people
 joining terroristic groups.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should remember that all of us if a part of
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
 worldwide community and wealthier governments should take care of
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
 and provide financial
aid
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 overcome
challenges
.
For instance
, it is well known that some poor
countries
 have huge
challenges
 like diseases, lack of education and
moreover
 they are not incapable to cope with by themselves. Undoubtedly, some situations could lead to unpredictable outcomes for rich
countries
 because many
people
 from poor
countries
 will immigrate to
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 for work or study. There are some well-known examples when locals were unhappy that government allow them to stay in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. To conclude, the question about providing financial
aid
 to
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
countries
 has always been controversial and seems to be sensible because there are always many
countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 help. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should always care about each other because without it many
people
 around the world could suffer from
challenges
.
Submitted by alexia.13 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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