Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however ,believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some
people
argue that giving severe punishments for driving offences are crucial to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
traffic
accidents
while others believe that other
measures
should be taken in order to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road safety. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly claim that serious penalties are more reasonable solutions to reduce
this
trend than having better
measures
. On the one hand, it is true that having strong punishments like
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
,
canceling
Change the spelling
cancelling
show examples
licenses and locking up drivers who break serious
rules
in the cells can decrease the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
accidents
. For
this
reason,
People
might not voluntarily follow the
regulations
and would break them if possible.
For instance
, in
Singapore
Add a comma
,Singapore
show examples
the
rules
for driving cars are highly severe by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Moreover
, they make their citizens pay a lot of fines or putting them into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail at once if they have
accidents
, which they thought those kinds of
accidents
rigorous.
As a result
, their country security systems for
traffic
accidents
are at a low level.
Besides
, the drivers will become more disciplined and alert.
On the other hand
, other
measures
are essential in maintaining
traffic
rules
and
regulations
.
Furthermore
, they can give drivers significant educations about
traffic
,
accidents
, as well as
rules
and
regulations
when driving. Those can ameliorate the drivers’ knowledge.
Nevertheless
, it will be boring if it is only taught without any demonstration. To exemplify, Myanmar, which is included in one of
Add a hyphen
south-east
show examples
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
east Asian countries, lacks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
severe
rules
and
regulations
.
Hence
, most
people
in that country disobey them when it comes to
real
Add an article
the real
a real
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
;
consequently
, some
people
have less knowledge about driving
measures
for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
Thus
, the rate of
accidents
has increased. By and large, it is undeniable that improving from both sides can lead to great results. I personally believe that giving punishments is more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
than other means.
Submitted by Shwe Yamin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: