Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however ,believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety

Some

people

argue that giving severe punishments for driving offences are crucial to

reduce

Change the verb form

reducing

show examples

traffic

accidents

while others believe that other

measures

should be taken in order to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

road safety. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly claim that serious penalties are more reasonable solutions to reduce

this

trend than having better

measures

. On the one hand, it is true that having strong punishments like

fine

Fix the agreement mistake

fines

show examples

canceling

Change the spelling

cancelling

show examples

licenses and locking up drivers who break serious

rules

in the cells can decrease the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

accidents

. For

this

reason,

People

might not voluntarily follow the

regulations

and would break them if possible.

For instance

, in

Singapore

Add a comma

,Singapore

show examples

the

rules

for driving cars are highly severe by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Moreover

, they make their citizens pay a lot of fines or putting them into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail at once if they have

accidents

, which they thought those kinds of

accidents

rigorous.

As a result

, their country security systems for

traffic

accidents

are at a low level.

Besides

, the drivers will become more disciplined and alert.

On the other hand

, other

measures

are essential in maintaining

traffic

rules

and

regulations

Furthermore

, they can give drivers significant educations about

traffic

accidents

, as well as

rules

and

regulations

when driving. Those can ameliorate the drivers’ knowledge.

Nevertheless

, it will be boring if it is only taught without any demonstration. To exemplify, Myanmar, which is included in one of

Add a hyphen

south-east

show examples

south

Add an article

the south

show examples

east Asian countries, lacks

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

severe

rules

and

regulations

Hence

, most

people

in that country disobey them when it comes to

real

Add an article

the real

a real

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

;

consequently

, some

people

have less knowledge about driving

measures

for some

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

Thus

, the rate of

accidents

has increased. By and large, it is undeniable that improving from both sides can lead to great results. I personally believe that giving punishments is more

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

than other means.

Submitted by Shwe Yamin on Fri Aug 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however ,believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.