At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Some parties expressed their
ideas
about the young adult population and the older generation compare
with each other in positive and negative ways. Wrong verb form
compared
According to
this
, topic I am going to demonstrate my personal thought with some examples.
First of all the population would be the key feature in the country
, when it pursues development
. Having a large population of the young workforce compared to the elder
crowd would be a valuable asset to the Replace the word
elderly
country
. On the other hand
, having a large number of Correct article usage
apply
the
young labour force will lead to an inexperienced situation. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, there is
a number of pros and cons considering Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
real-life examples and facts, depending on the personal opinion.
To start with advantages, young crowds enriched with new Correct article usage
apply
ideas
, energy
, willing to work in different locations or under any weather conditions. Correct word choice
and energy
This
kind of situation may increase the development
speed at a reasonable level.Although
, based on the new ideas
, young people will come up with the new method of an easy way to finished
the task of the job effectively. Wrong verb form
finish
This
might be the key feature of development
in the country
. However
, young adults do not have enough experience compared to older people, due to
this
case experience labour force would be another major factor of development
in a country
. In addition
, a person who has the most kills in their respective fields, might not generate new ideas
. Reason
to that Correct article usage
The reason
person
who Correct article usage
a person
done
their work, in the same way, might not like new changes. As an example, if Add a missing verb
has done
this
occurs in a production factory, its output would not increase due to
a lack of creativity or new thoughts.
Finally
, having young adults more than the
old people would be Correct article usage
apply
e
an advantage to the Verb problem
apply
country
Change noun form
country's
development
and moving with the new technology there is no other who can take the younger generation's role.Submitted by kasun.sanjayacool on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear separation of your points. They seem to be merged together without clear transitions.
task achievement
Your introduction seems to lack a clear thesis statement. Make sure to include a sentence that summarizes what the essay is about.
language
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'kills'in the third paragraph seems to be a typographic error for 'skills'. Such mistakes can affect your overall score.
task achievement
The main points could be more adequately supported and explained. Consider providing more evidence and explanation for your statements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?